Smile, it causes wrinkles: on the verge
Dance with me: The Replacements -Beer for Breakfast
"FOR MONTHS I PLUNGED WITHOUT A LIGHT TO FOLLOW, BUT I SWEAR THAT I WOULD FOLLOW ANYTHING!!... JUST.. GET ME OUTTA HERE!!"
so upon reading kaitlins, jesses, and lanas, im at the point where i have determined that just like our menstrual cycles, we go through phases(as lana has stated). we go through the i love life, i hate life phases. im with you all on the i hate life phase right now, the college is so close yet so far away phase. the phase that makes you want to sit in the corner of your room and cry deadly tears, and just hope that tomorrow you can escape and start a new life, where no1 knows your past, or what you've done. you get to start over. i can't wait. im clawing up the smoothed wall, and my fingers are bleeding. i told myself when i was younger, but old enough to understand that would never regret anyhting.. im regreting a few things right now. i know they make me "stronger" or how ever that lame ass saying goes. people only say it to confort you b/c you realllly fucked up in life. so jesse, lana, kaitlin, katherine, krista, and kris have taught me so much, that i have become a "beast" if you will. i will say anything to anyone at anytime.. if i believe its wrong your going to know. and i mean it. i plan on being in a jail a few times for protesting later on in life. i dismiss who i am right now, im playing tug of war with myself. i haven't told you anything. this is very typical of me. i i i i i i dont know where to start even if i decided ot tell you. you all can guess, you might be right.but in the mean time: lana is fat, and lonely, and should reallly just shoot fred between the eyes, jesse is regretting her family relationship, and the fact that she's in too deep with drew to even fathom, or turn back now, kaitlin hates the fact that she can't be something else, katherine is heading towards destrucction, kris is battling solely with himself, krista is still trying to figure this whole sandle cult out, and im watching you all, crying in my corner with my deadly tears, listening to your pain, healing them with the hold of my hand, and i can tell you one thing.. julie told me a while ago, now that i think about it the same thing that im going to share with you.. n/m i didnt mean it like this, i dont want the attention, its just stupid, and it is what it is, im real your real were all soo fucking fake that we seep through the books pages and step into reality. i want to jump back into the book, shut me and put my back on the shelf. i finally finished invisible monsters, kaitlins got dibs on it. its phenominal. truly, it is. im starting wicked, and its very very good. "all i wanna do is drink beer for breakfast, all i wanna do is eat those bar-b-que chips" |
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noahslostark's journal
sick
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